Imagine for a moment that it’s movie night, and you’re 8 months pregnant. You want to watch Fantastic Mr. Fox, but your husband votes for Marley & Me. How do you choose? Well, according to new research, you might want to let your baby-to-be have a vote, because s/he will respond to Mom’s emotions.

Researchers in Japan recently studied a group of pregnant women to see how their emotions affected their unborn child. (You can read more about the study in the NewScientist article found here.) Ten subjects viewed an uplifting clip from The Sound of Music and a sad clip from The Champ. The women listened to the movies through headphones “to ensure that only the effect of their emotions, not the sounds, were being measured,” since a fetus gains the ability to hear by the last trimester.

The result? Babies-to-be moved their arms significantly more than normal (“normal” was measured by having the subjects watch a neutral clip) when Mom viewed the “happy” clip and less when the “sad” clip was on. The researcher theorized that the “sad” movie caused a greater release of the “fight or flight” hormone, thus diverting blood away from the fetus. As a result, the babies-to-be conserved their blood supply for their heart and lungs rather than their limbs, limiting arm movement.

I remember watching my daughter Maddie when she was little, as she would rock her baby dolls. Comments like, ‘You’re going to be such a good mommy when you grow up, honey’ would easily roll off my tongue. But with my son Nick, whenever he acted tenderly toward a doll or stuffed animal, I had to remind myself to tell him, ‘You’re going to be such a good daddy.’ After reading Lise Eliot’s Pink Brain, Blue Brain, I’m especially glad I made the effort.

To hear more tips on raising children without gender bias, listen to my interview with Lise Eliot: 

Recent research may make your family’s food woes a littler easier to digest.

One study, from University College London, that looked at identical and fraternal twins, suggested that some children are genetically predisposed to shun new foods. This fear — known as food neophobia — may be a remnant from the days when humans had to scavenge for food and it was wise to be wary because that weird green plant could be toxic. Your toddler’s reaction to those weird green beans could actually be a response hardwired into his brain. That said, there are several related studies which suggest that parents should not decide "Johnny hates spinach" based on first impressions.  Unless a child rejects something at least 8 times (not in one meal!), don’t assume he’ll never grow to like that food.

Putting annoying adolescent behavior in perspective

One of the most useful parenting techniques I ever learned was reframing.  The idea is to relabel behavior in order to gain a more constructive perspective, thereby shifting from "I think I may have to kill you" to "I understand that what you did may be out of your control." 

Reframing is particularly valuable during your children’s teen years, when their developing brains may lead them to do some incredibly lame-brained things. For example, when your teenage daughter lies about her whereabouts and comes home at four a.m. or when your adolescent son gets a speeding ticket the day after his new license arrives in the mail, you may be tempted to catastrophize.  Before you start setting aside monies for their bail funds, consider the fact that their brains are a lot like they were during the toddler years.  They may act and talk in a more adult manner, but the parts of their adolescent brain that control impulses are under major constuction.  They lack the brakes necessary to weigh outcomes and choose the perhaps wiser path.  That’s why asking them, "What the hell were you thinking?"  is likely to prompt a shrug or, worse, a "What?" back at you.  Wait to talk about the consequences when you’ve cooled down enough to summon the executive thinking your adult brain is capable of producing. And when you do have a sit-down, hammer home the importance of  their stopping to think before they act - something you understand is a lot harder than they may realize. Needless to say, cautioning them to think before they act is a message you’ll have to deliver over and over again — just as you had to tell your toddler "Don’t touch! That’s hot!" only to watch him head for the stove again. 

If you want to learn more about the teen brain, check out my interview with  the wonderful Dr. David Walsh, author of Why Do They Act That Way: A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen and  No: Why Kids - of All Ages - Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It.

Be careful what you say about your party days

It’s no secret that your teenager’s peers can affect his or her decision to drink underage. But what if the influential teen is you-at age 16?  As part of a science talent search, 17-year-old Chelsea Jurman, of Roslyn Heights, New York, surveyed 123 of her classmates. Her results suggest that teen attitudes toward drinking and their drinking behavior correlate with their perception of their parents’ teenage alcohol use. In other words, if your teen believes you threw back a few choice beverages in your younger days, he or she is more likely to imbibe than is a pal whose parents were teatotallers. As Jurman aptly put it, ""When you’re a teenager, perception is reality and what they take away from the conversation is, ‘If my parents drank as teens and they turned out all right, then this must mean it’s O.K. for me to drink, too.’ "Jurman’s study garnered her a winning place in the Intel Science Talent Search and a trip to D.C. to meet the President. Given her success, one can only assume that her parents were social science wunderkinds!