Thanksgiving’s fast approaching, and your mind is probably filled with thoughts of the best the holiday has to offer: Family and friends and, of course, turkey, dressing, potatoes and pie. But don’t forget that Turkey Day also offers a cornucopia of opportunities for your children’s good behavior to, well, turn foul (or fowl). To ensure your holiday isn’t for the birds, follow these simple rules.

Don’t dress up the kids until you arrive. Parents often make the mistake of dressing kids in their nice (and itchy and stiff) dinner clothes right before buckling them in for a long car trip. Comfort is key for the ride. Plan a pit stop to change a few minutes before you arrive or wait until you get to Grandma’s to gussy up.

Schedule Thanksgiving dinner as close to your children’s normal mealtime as possible. Work around their normal rhythm. If your family tradition is to eat at 3 or 4 p.m. (a.k.a, the kids’ naptime), they might be asleep in their candied yams before the meal concludes. Have dinner at 1 or 6 if you can. If not, feed the kids a snack around their normal lunchtime and explain that they’re expected to sit at the table and taste a few things even if they aren’t hungry.

On a related note, forget the clean plate club. Don’t ruin dinner by arguing over every bite. Make an agreement beforehand that they will try a little of everything on their plate, eat what they want and leave the rest. And that they won’t make a comment on the food, unless it’s a nice comment. Even a 4 year old can say “No, thank you” or “I prefer this please.” And if you’re nervous that your child’s limited palate might offend your host, explain ahead of time that you have an unadventurous eater on your hands.

Cancel the kids’ table. Most kids hate being relegated to a separate table. If you’re hosting and there’s spillover, set two tables with mixed generations. Then kids can learn a little about their history. Ask older family members to bring photos or stories of Thanksgivings past to share.

Manage your micromanaging. If you give your child a task, folding the napkins for example, don’t follow behind and redo the task if they fall short of your expectations. That’s a real blow to the self-esteem. Don’t assign your child a task that you will be tempted to second-guess.

Don’t mandate hugs and kisses. Explain to your children that they don’t have to kiss every cousin (or let Aunt Muriel pinch their cheeks), but they should shake hands, make eye contact, smile and talk. Sulking on the couch is not an option

Give kids a script and a plan. A shy child dreads being thrown in with 3 rarely seen cousins and told to “go play.” Try role-playing ahead of time to arm him with some icebreakers. And make sure to bring a favorite board game that he can play with family members.

In the present economy, satisfying all the desires on your child’s wish list may be a challenge. But lose the guilt if you need to cut back this year — the best gift you can give your child is a trove of holiday memories with you, memories that don’t include anxiety about your family finances. In this video, I’ll tell you why tightening your belt during the holidays is not only possible but may have a silver lining when it comes to the message you’re sending your children.  

Santa and his reindeer might soar over rooftops as they travel this holiday season, but the vast majority of us will be buckling up and hitting the road to get to Grandma’s.While your fantasy drive might include well-behaved children singing carols in the backseat, car trips with the kids can be a tad, well, bumpy. A little preparation, however, goes a long way when it comes to arriving healthy and happy. Watch here for my tips about car safety and here to learn how you can keep kids entertained during the drive.