Dear Annie,

I had a really tough time breast-feeding, and after four weeks of pain and frustration, I switched to formula. I could not believe the guilt trip some of my relatives and friends put me on. Do you think I should try again?

Amy

Dear Amy, 

Most of us assume that the natural flow of milk goes hand in hand with an instinctive understanding of how to get that milk into the baby’s mouth. So when something as seemingly simple as sticking your boob in your newborn’s mouth proves painfully challenging, a cascade of feelings follows: frustration, disappointment, guilt. The fact that family and friends added to your anxiety reveals more about their insensitivity than your ability to nourish your baby. Believe me, there are millions of highly successful, loving children out there who were fed nothing but formula by their parents. It’s wonderful that you tried, but you should not beat yourself up about your decision to switch to bottle-feeding.  That said, should you decide to have another child, don’t assume you will not be able to nurse.  Try to find a sympathetic lactation consultant, who can come to your home and show you exactly what to do.  And the next time someone lectures you about the benefits of breast-feeding vs. bottle-feeding, just smile and say, "I’ve heard all this before.  But what you’re saying makes me feel bad." Then change the subject to your baby’s most recent adorable achievement.