If you’re expecting baby number two (or three or four), it’s natural to be concerned about your first-born’s reactions to the new addition. You might be tempted to grease the wheels of sibling bonding by promoting the new baby as your big kid's "new best friend." Or you might think it wise to ask big brother or sister to help pick out names or to decorate the nursery. Not a good idea, says Beth Grosshans, Ph.D., author of Beyond Time-out: From Chaos to Calm, who recently appeared on my show to talk about welcoming a sibling.

“So much of the current parenting advice and the way current parenting experts are thinking blow a lot of these ordinary life events into big dramatic events,” Grosshans says. “And parents are getting so intimidated and scared that they’re prone to overreacting."

Watch the video below for Dr. Grosshans excellent advice about introducing a new sibling into your family — advice I wish I had followed when I was expecting my son Nick. To hear all about my guilt-fueled blunders, watch the second video.

(The picture above is my daughter Maddie meeting her brother Nick for the first time.)