Dear Annie,
My two year old has become anti-bath. She’s never been keen on bathing, but over the last six months it’s become a real struggle. She starts to cry before I even turn the water on. We have tried baths with lots of toys, no toys, lots of water, little water, showers, bubbles, tub crayons, bathing suits, mommy getting in with her, sponge baths, using the big tub, using the baby tub, using the sink, and just about everything else you can think of.
Because of the struggle I only bathe her 2 to 3 times a week, which is okay since she doesn’t get real messy. (She likes to be neat and clean but hates to take a bath.) When we do put her in the bath we try playing and calming her down but then just end up rushing through it to get her out. It’s very stressful for all and I don’t know what else to try. Please help.
~Kate
Dear Kate,
Like it or not, we live in a cleanliness-obsessed culture; in many parts of the world, children aren’t bathed more than once or twice a week and they do just fine.
So my first thought is, two or three baths a week doesn’t sound bad (assuming you wash her hands regularly). That said, bath time certainly doesn’t sound like fun for anyone in your household, so here are a few suggestions.
First, your bath battles – like food fights, sleep struggles, and other familiar toddler challenges – are probably more about her struggle to assert control over her life and less about a phobia or fear. Your daughter is at the age where she is probably wanting to “do it myself” in every arena from soaping her body to pouring her own cereal to wearing a bathing suit in the dead of winter. New skills and budding independence collide with her need for guidance and supervision (particularly around water!).
You might ameliorate this by giving her control elsewhere: Let her brush her own hair or pull her own shirt over her head (and if it’s backwards, leave it alone). Have you tried giving her a special baby doll that she can bathe? Give her a large plastic bowl of water and a washcloth so she can wash someone else – as well as get washed herself.
And perhaps let her watch you take a bath of your own sometime; seeing you happy and relaxed in the tub may inspire her to join in.
My gut tells me that the less of a storm you make this, the sooner it will blow over. Chances are good that this behavior – like many frustrating phases – shall pass. And by the time she reaches the teen years, you’ll be banging on the bathroom door for a chance to shower!
*This question originally appeared on Babycenter's Momformation blog.
